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Sunday, November 19th, 2006
11:14 pm
Just got back from NC, went to Ashville for my cousin's wedding. Awesome time, pictures are up on Webshots. Heard back from Texas, no dice: they didn't get the funding for my position. So, I took a full time position from the DC I'm working at, and am in the process of going National Guard (still doing Intel, of course: no extra training). I'll be here in Dayton for awhile, it appears. Next travel time: Down to Florida in March for Nick's wedding ... my friends are getting knocked off one at a time. Dag.
Tuesday, October 17th, 2006
11:15 pm
Patience is a virtue, or so I've been told. Still in Troy, still hating Ohio. Still waiting to find out about the positions I've applied for.

Oh, and Meijer put up the Christmas tree in the store this past weekend. Shouldn't they at least wait til Halloween until they put Xmas stuff up for sale? Bah, humbug...

Current Mood: restless
Monday, October 2nd, 2006
10:57 pm
Wow. So, I was biking home from work today, and I fell asleep at the handlebars. Who does that? Anyways, my knee is the size of a basketball, and I really, really hurt. Wooohooo, leaving more skin around T-town.

In another update, my ham radio license expired, so I changed my screen name since I am no longer kc8kop. It's now AuldHazMatt, for all who care. booyah, being the hazmat.

And another phone interview with Texas A&M ... hopefully within two weeks hired, and leaving Ohio forever. I want out of this state bad like......

Current Mood: hurt
Wednesday, September 6th, 2006
10:41 pm
2 things, real quick-like:
(1) Pending job offer at Texas A&M as a project coordinater with the homeland security training team ... hoping my socks off that I get it, since, you know, university employees get free schooling and that'll enable me to finish my bachelors. Not that a really long golf season has anything to do with that, either ... ;)
(2) At the bar with my mother tonight, and a hot chick walks in. Catches me ogling here, tells me to go talk to her. I reply that it's not worth my time, since I'm hoping to leave this area soon. My mother tells me to "Love 'em and leave 'em." Wow ... that was the awesomeness from tonight.

Current Mood: hopeful
Saturday, June 24th, 2006
9:26 pm
This is a stickup ... don't make it a murder!
Wow. All I've been doing is playing golf. Hit the bars a few times, had a totally WT night at Frog's thursday (power went out, candles everywhere, "Operation Steal Power" from the neighbors, watching Dave Chapelle's Block Party on a laptop whilst trying to get some girls to come over), then today I went and did the back nine at a course called "Hidden Lake". By hole 14, I knew why it was called "hidden", and if I was that course, I'd be so ashamed I'd hide myself, also. Eh, oh, well. Going golfing tomorrow ... and monday ... and perhaps tuesday. Then back to golfing with Frog and Jay next saturday. All I'm doing is sitting here, waiting to here back from companies I dropped my resume off too, so life isn't too bad. getting way too much sun, though. i have sandal tan lines on my feet. I think monday, i might start playing WoW again. I'se need a good waste of time. Damn, it feels good to be a gangsta, and damn, it feels good to be out of Athens for good. Even if I'm having a hard time convincing both Grandpa and Jay that I am gonna finish my degree eventually. heh. Be easy, peoples, and try to stay in touch. Will let everyone know when I get a phone number.

Current Mood: content
Monday, June 19th, 2006
2:35 am
Being back in Troy is nice, for a change. Got most of my stuff all ready in place for long-term storage, doing laundry, working on my resume and cover letter to send to Albany and NYC. Friday night I ate at the Dublin in Dayton with Frog, CL, and Jay and had a helluva good time, joking and such. Then, for the first time in like forever, we all hit up Adventure Golf and had a metric shit-ton of fun playing putt-putt. Saturday I tried to sell off the old engagement ring, but sadly the most I could get out of it was $13.60. About right sentimentality rise, but I could've used a bigger boost to the bank account. Went off-roading with Jay, then met up with Frog and all three of us went bar-hopping, ending up at a bonfire on the leevee. It was nice and relaxing, and I needed that. Tomorrow I meet up with Amber to play bones and drink some WH coffee at 5, then Frog and I are going to close out the Brewery and try to bring some willing ladies back to his apartment. Yay, no responsibilities for the next two weeks. And then, the real world comes crashing back in. ::sigh:: It'll be an interesting ride, yo...

Current Mood: devious
Friday, May 19th, 2006
1:56 am
Well, since taller girls seem to dig me, perhaps I should give up the quest for a shorter, petit girl ... gotta go with the flow, yo.
Wednesday, May 17th, 2006
2:43 am
Ok ... not coming back to OU to finish my degree ... when I get it, it'll be from SUNY. Gonna try avoiding ever coming back to Ohio, just because this state is bad for me. Can't wait til NYC, and can't wait til my friends come up to visit me there. 33 days, what!

So, if I understand this correctly, if only 1/3 of my credits transfer, I don't need to do anything else at SUNY Westbrook to walk except pay the graduation fee. And it's not like I'm gonna walk anyways, since there will be no one coming to see me graduate, and that'll cut a little off the fee. I still might get all three degrees! yea-uh!

For the record:
Right now, I really miss Thor (the ex has him), I really miss Molly (she has to go to another house since I'm moving to NYC), and I even miss Larry (Jarrid is getting him, since bringing a snake is frowned upon by Greyhound). All my pets in this life, at least the ones I kinda rely on to keep my sanity, I'm gonna have either no contact with now or in the near future. I'm sad about that .. they provided a focal point of my life. Once I move, I think I'll have to get a pet of some sorts. Just as a relaxation factor, and as something that I know will love me unconditionally, since I don't get that from our species, especially the female type. After all, they are untrustworthy. I am exceedingly nervous about my move, but it needs to be done, so I am also excited ... why can't it be June 19th yet?

Oh, yeah, and I have some new pictures, but have been remiss in posting them. And yeah, I've rebounded ... 3 times, so stop asking all ready.

Current Mood: nervous
Sunday, May 7th, 2006
2:31 am
Possible Last Post until I'm out of Athens
Ok, more explaining. There are various reasons I'm taking a leave of absence from the school, even though I am so damn close to graduating, and monetary reasons are only a small part. I know I could go to Grandpa or Marge and explain the situation and they'd float me the money I need. But that's beside the point. If I stayed in this town for another year, if I did my last year here next year, I don't believe I'd see my 28th birthday. I know that by going to New York, if that offer still stands for me to do so from November, that there is a good chance I will never get my degrees, that I will stay up there, help the great-aunts with the rentals until they pass away (may that never happen), and then take over the business. Sadly, the thought of not getting my degrees, even though I am so close, no longer bothers me. So much bad shit, so much soul-killing shit, so much emotionally-numbing stuff has happened in the past 10 months, since roughly about the time Sam went to Scotland, that there is really nothing anymore that I really care about. I no longer have any passions. I used to enjoy collecting old and rare books - now, it's been months since I've looked, and odds are that before I move, I'll sell what I have. Kevin, Frog, and Yonkers are the only three people I implicitly trust on the planet right now to actually consider what might be best for me before taking any action. Actually, they are the only three people I trust at all. I know a lot of people care for me, and that some love me, but I can find no reason at all to hang around for them ... from experience, especially with past girls, I know that as soon as I disappear, I'm easily ... not forgotten, but rather not necessary to do anything. As of the moment, and it's been steadily building for the past two weeks, my loathing of general humanity has been building again and I'm ready once again to do what I claimed in the USMC that I'd do once I got out of college: I'll find myself either a small college or a library in the North East, and completely disappear in to my studies, researches, and books and off of everyone's scope. Once, I thought that might change, when I came back to school and everything seemed golden. I was on the track to a golden degree, I had the best girl in the world, and I had a damn good job. Now, I'm just another person leeching off of friends, I ended up fucking up the straight track for the degree, and I don't think I'll ever get the girl back, let alone see her ever again. But such is life, and I'm not angry at that. The lot we are dealt in life is that which we must play out. The other reasons for going to New York (or wherever that is not Athens) also include that by getting out of here for a year I get a chance to rearrange my life; I give a chance to those that I am acquainted with (including Sam) to move on, graduate, and enjoy their senior year all as friends without the drama that my presence seems to provide; and that if I stayed here any longer, I'd probably either end up in Jail or in the ICU. If I don't end up in NY, the options I have are a multitude. Since I no longer really give a damn, I really don't mind selling off my book collection. Since that's my only major possesion(s), I could end up in Alaska as a crab fisherman, or down in Mexico, or any other random places. I know that since I'm probably (99.99999%) not gonna get her back that the odds of me getting in any other relationship within the next few years (and the odds of me ever getting married are even slimmer) is phenomonally small. Actually, within the past month I've also given thought to the Fransicans ... after all, they are renowned for scholarship. All I know is that if I stay here, something bad will happen to me. Either I'll turn to drugs to escape, or I'll be continually depressed because of missed oppportunities, or I'll end up an alcoholic. By taking this year off, it gives me a chance to step back, re-affirm my morals and values, bolster my will power, give me both a vacation from my 36-months straight of studying and a chance to make money, and when (if) I do come back to Athens, hopefully after a year in New York no longer will almost anywhere I go evoke memories of the time I spent with the ex. Yeah, sappy, I know. But after the amazing amount of nervous breakdowns over the past few weeks, which the lack of relationship is only about 10%, I need a change of scenery bad-like, somewhere where there is no internet, no wireless, and I won't have a cell phone. Somewhere I can disappear, and no one can reach me unless I let them. I need that security right now, becuase I have a severe lack of trust in humanity in general, and am reverting back to the Spectre that I was back in the day ... always in the background observing, but never noticed, and no one to be responsible to because none at that time cared for me. That's the return I long for, and hopefully I can make it true ... and hopefully after a year being gone from here, the memory of me will be but dust for all that I was around. I rather like being anonymous. Peace all, be easy, and in about 7 weeks I'll try to update. My taking a year off isn't only a chance for a fresh start for me, but a gift to my friends that they can have a drama and awkwardness free senior year.

Current Mood: apathetic
1:19 am
You know what's funny? I provide a shoulder to lean on and cry on, and a ready ear to anyone. And even though I do that, now, in my time of need, when I am at my lowest point right now, looking down the various lists of people I know, I find there is no one I can ask to do the same for me. Ironic, isn't it. The one thing I willing do for people because I know what it's like to hurt, there's no shoulder for me to lean on when times are tough. God must be a practical joker - there's no other reason I can think of for surviving Iraq.

Damn ... two nights, two major nervous breakdowns ... i need out of this town, i need out of this area, i need to go somewhere i can recapture my sanity, somewhere that (for the most part, with a few exceptions) a good portion of the people I know I have to actively disbelieve or watch their every move. I'm holding my own now, and hopefully my time with the family tomorrow will help out. Well, now that in a matter of two months I've lost two pets that after June I will never see again (Thor and Molly), and that when i move up to NY (if/when it happens) I'm gonna be on my own again, I'm really bad off, but looking forward to a challenge to lift this massive random depression.

Current Mood: Nervous Breakdown
Saturday, May 6th, 2006
10:53 pm
Shits almost arranged. When this quarter is over, hopefully I'll be heading to upstate NY, helping the great-aunts out for a year, waiting until everyone here at OU that I have even the slightest amount of drama with is graduated and gone, coming back and finishing the 3 classes and 1 paper I need to get both my degrees, and then dipping somewhere that no one will hopefully expect to get my masters and doctorate. I'm sorry to all that I'll miss over what was supposed to be my last year of school, but after the past 9 months with all that has happened to me, there is no way that I can stay here at OU for another year and still hope to get out of here without either dying from something stupid or just straight out killing myself from massive depression. Hopefully a year away from here will allow me to come back with a clean slate, a group of people who don't know me and that I don't want to know or get close to, and that I'll be able to finish my degree with a minimum of fuss. To all that I know, I'm disappearing for the next 5 weeks until the end of the quarter, no more going to bars, no more hanging out, I'm gone from the board. I'll try to keep in touch when I'm away, but to completely honest, I wouldn't really expect to ever hear from me again, nothing personal, but I'm really horrible at keeping in touch with people, and I'm sure as hell not carrying the laptop for the whole 13 mile hike from Albany to Athens ... Also,when I clear myself of something, I try to do it completely ... it makes it easier on all involved in the long run, I've found. To those who hoped for Halloween here with me, sorry, but all of the 2006-2007 school year I most definitely will not be visiting Athens at all since I will be living and working in Lake George. To those that I care to keep in touch with, I'll probably end up with a new screen name, email, and cell number, and I will be sure to get those to you. I love y'all, and hope you a happy life, a prosperous one, and that you find everything that you search for. Peace out, yo. YQP for life. Chaoflux, what!

-- And yes, I was serious when I said that I'd rather do 3 full tours in Iraq as an 0311 rather than having to live through the last 10 months again. Worst year of my life. Ever. And hopefully it remains that, and the next few years are good. I'm tired of being an Irish kid with no good luck ... when the hell is my karma supposed to kick in and hook me up?

--Clarification: I am not 'dropping' out of college, I am taking a break (36 months of school and work straight with almost no vacation time and a lot of drama will cause anyone to break ... i guarantee that) and after a year off I will return, I will finish the 200 series of Ancient Greek, and I will declare my second major as being Classics and write my thesis. I just need time away from Athens ... it's destroying me a day at a time. I don't belong here, I don't fit in, and there are too many recent memories that I need to let time white-wash so there isn't as much pain involved in them. I will be back ... you just won't know I'm here until I pop up behind your shoulder ...

Current Mood: sad
8:05 pm
Decisions have been made. I'm taking at least a year off, possibly more, after this quarter is over. I just can't stay here any more ... this town is killing me. It's just about the only place in the world that I've ever been depressed in. Peace, Athens. 5 weeks, and I'm gone to who knows where, and I really don't care.
3:25 pm
All of a sudden, I have one of those very bad, no good sensations in the pit of my stomach ... I have the feeling that something is happening behind my back, and it's not sitting too well with me right now, and I'm thinking that pretty soon I'm gonna find out something I don't like ...
6:16 am
Mildly upset. Hanging out with Hippie, Samantha S, and Alisha now, wondering what the hell I did to piss Adam off. I'm now worried that I won't make it up to Cleveland on Sunday, because he's gonna be out tomorrow apparently, as he tells it, with some girl. Don't know what's going on, wish I did, and going to bed because I have been drinking all night (which was not the plan, since I was supposed to be heading up to Akron here in a few hours but now am not ... damn barely functional arm) and need to go to bed. I hate it when my intelligence network fails to keep me updated by the hour.

Update -
Adam is determined not to leave today, which has me really worried since we need to be in Cleveland tomorrow by 1pm. Which, about a three and a half hour drive, means we need to leave at 930. And since I am physically incapable of driving the Subie since it doesn't have power steering, means he has to be operating at that hour. I don't give a damn what I have to do, but I will be at my little sis's graduation tomorrow if I have to start hitchhiking up there right now. Family is family, and I'm proud of her for accomplishing what she has, and there is no way that I will miss this for the world ... if worse comes to worse, Brian has said he will drive me up there, but I'm saving that as a last resort.

Current Mood: worried
Friday, May 5th, 2006
5:08 am
Fun night with Jarrid, BJ, Adam, Andy, Melvin, and all the rest. Happy Cinco de Mayo, everyone! I'll be at Donny's for the party, perhaps over to Jarrid's before they go to a movie for a Corona, and then out to Pawpurr's, perhaps even meeting up with Andy! Fun day planned!! (No Stroud's, though ... I can't wait til I can have my puppy in my apartment!)

P.S. -
Fort Minor's cd "The Rising Tied" is the shit ... I recommend listening to it.

Current Mood: bouncy
Thursday, May 4th, 2006
2:14 am
Wow ... 2 girls in one night asking about me (both hot as hell, and much better looking and acting then the ex), one showing up at the bar I was at to give me a hug and a kiss goodnight, and the other showing up at the other bar I went to just to say hello. You lay a little groundwork, and the next thing you know ... Jarrid is most definitely gonna have to build me that shrine now. :) Also, thanks to one Erin Montgomery for an awesome night, it was awesome hanging out with her, and tomorrow we'll be heading out to Stroud's together so she can meet my puppy. And perhaps even Alex will be out there, which means I'll be getting more than puppy kisses. :) It's good to be me. Tomorrow night will be happy hour at the Junction to hang out with my boy Kevin, than Pawpurrs, and then the Red Brick to see Andy and have some of those $2 mega-mugs. For just about the first time here at OU, it's good to be me, and I really mean that. Damn, I feel good about being single.

(At Skippers Tonight...)
Her: Are you bringing your puppy out to Stroud's tomorrow?
Me: Heck, yeah!
Her: What is her name again? Samantha?
Me: Erm, not exactly...
Her: Oh, shit, that's the ex, isn't it? Wrong bitch... I knew that, too. I'm so sorry...
Me: It's all good.
Her: Now, I'm sorry ... but talking about that, I think you deserve much better ... give me a call, and I'll make it out to Stroud's tomorrow afternoon. I love your dog ... it's cute ... not the type of cute that you are, but cute never-the-less.
Me: You can be damn sure I'll be calling you tomorrow ...

I got it made, my peoples. I'm living the life. Van Wilder, what? No - Matt Tompkins, bitches. Yarrrr.

Current Mood: accomplished
Wednesday, May 3rd, 2006
2:15 am
2 months. Still going on strong. It's getting a lot better.
Monday, May 1st, 2006
1:38 pm
I'm still hung-over. It was a most definitely interesting weekend. Thursday I got overly intoxicated, Friday I stayed at home, and Saturday I went bar-hopping with Jarrid and Chris. And then, after bar-hopping, I went back to Jarrid's, and the ex immediately and promptly started as much drama as possible with the help of her roomate. She came over from her apartment just to be a nuisance. No one there likes her, she's childish, stupid-annoying, stuck-up, and a whole bunch of other non-nice adjectives. Anyways, I guess Jarrid had more trouble with them after I left, and I heard all about when we went to the Red Brick Sunday night. Which is where the meat of this update comes in: As mentioned earlier, at 2330 on April 30, I had a perfect game of pool. It was very, very nice. And then we promptly went to Courtside, had another pitcher, and then to the Pub, had quite a few more pitchers, and there it was decided that Jarrid is building a shrine to me in the courtyard after I managed to pick-up yet another hot chick. And get discounted drinks. It is good to be me. :) Went to Wal-Mart, nearly got kicked out for "being too loud", got some pizza, went back to Jarrid's and cooked and ate it while drinking more beer, and then staggered back to my place. Dozed through class this morning, skipping this afternoon, and at 1900 tonight the Tompkins Open Pool Tournament starts at Lucky's. And after that, I meet up with Jarrid and Chris for Round 3. God, I'm gonna need a new liver....

Current Mood: indescribable
Saturday, April 29th, 2006
5:17 pm
Yay, sunlight! I'm actually starting to get a slight tan. And the puppy is learning how to swim. Yeah, Stroud's was awesome today. There from 1-4, cooked some food, and I think next weekend we're all gonna rent canoes and do some paddling. So far, all is going well in the world of Matt. Otherwise, NSTR ...
Wednesday, April 26th, 2006
2:59 am
Now that I know the ex has another in her life, I can completely remove her from mine in every facet. No more talking about her. Yes, I have a puppy, no, she will never see it, and no, neither she nor Ty will be welcome in my new place. Sucks for him, but that is the price he pays for dating an OU whore...a mistake I shall never make again. Booyah. No more in phone for any of them, nor AIM, nor LJ. Yay, being single from "strange girl", as my friends put it. Yay, no more worrying about dreams dying, because it is officially dead now.
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